Preparing Your Child for a New School
Starting school, moving up to secondary or changing schools mid-year brings excitement and worry. Practical steps for the weeks before and the first term after.
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See programmesA new school means new buildings, new adults, new routines and, often, new friends to make. For some children the change feels like an adventure. For others it brings weeks of worry. Most children feel a mix of both.
Preparation will not remove every nerve, but it can turn the unknown into something familiar.
Talk about it early, and calmly
Start conversations a few weeks before the move. Ask open questions:
- “What do you think will be different?”
- “What are you looking forward to?”
- “Is there anything you’re wondering about?”
Listen more than you reassure. Some worries are surprisingly specific, such as where the toilets are or what happens at lunchtime, and these are often easy to answer.
Get to know the place
If the school offers visits or open days, go. Many schools also share photos, maps or videos for new pupils. Look through them together and point out key places: the entrance, the classroom, the dining hall, the playground.
Practise the journey too. Walk or drive the route, or take the bus together, so the first morning does not include a new route as well as a new school.
Practise the practical skills
New routines can be tiring. A little practice at home helps.
For children starting primary school
- Putting on and taking off their coat and shoes
- Opening lunchbox items and packets
- Using the toilet independently and washing hands
- Recognising their own name on labels
For children moving to secondary school
- Reading a timetable
- Packing their own bag the night before
- Managing a bus pass or money
- Finding their way around using a map
Keep some things the same
Change is easier when parts of life stay steady. Keep bedtimes, meals and weekend routines as normal as possible. A familiar item, such as a keyring on their bag or a note in their lunchbox, can be comforting in the first weeks.
Share important information with the school
If your child has special educational needs, a medical condition, or has been through something difficult recently, let the new school know before they start. For children with SEND, ask to speak to the SENCO about transition plans. Many schools offer extra visits, a named adult, or a quieter space for the first few days.
The first weeks
Expect tiredness. Even children who seem fine at school may be grumpy or emotional at home, especially in the first half term. Keep after-school plans light, offer a snack and some downtime before asking about the day.
Ask specific questions, which are easier to answer than “How was school?”:
- “Who did you sit next to at lunch?”
- “What was the funniest thing that happened?”
- “Which lesson was the hardest today?”
Friendships take time
Many children worry about making friends. Remind them that everyone is new, and that friendships often take weeks to form. Clubs and after-school activities can be a good way to meet people with shared interests.
When to get in touch with school
If your child is still very anxious after the first few weeks, is refusing to go, or tells you about unkind behaviour, contact their teacher or head of year. Early conversations usually lead to simple solutions before small problems grow.
Worth remembering
Specific questions like "Who did you sit next to at lunch?" are easier for a child to answer than "How was school?"
Try this
Walk, drive or take the bus along the route to the new school together, so the first morning has one less new thing to face.
Check what stuck
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